Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection by Northcutt Wendy

Author:Northcutt, Wendy [Northcutt, Wendy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

PERSONAL ACCOUNT: A MEDIEVAL TALE

1600s, HUNGARY

One of the oldest Hungarian legends takes place during the late medieval years. It may even be true. Paks, today a small city boasting Hungary’s single nuclear power plant, was a small village in the 1600s. Back then, the village endured an ongoing provocation from a neighboring village. They kept sending their cows to graze on Paks land—and vice-versa, if I know my ancestors.

Once a foreigner attacked a Paks herdsman, beat him badly, and confiscated his cows. But this was not just any herdsman, it was the son of the mayor! The people of Paks took up arms, or rather work tools they could wield as arms. The result was a small battle between the two villages, in which dozens of peasants bit the dust.

The brave Paks army retreated in defeat.

The mayor of Paks, undaunted, ordered his men to fabricate a cannon to blast the enemy to smithereens. It was easier to order it than to construct it, as they did not have the necessary tools and materials to build a cannon. “No matter,” said the wise mayor. “Chop a tree down and create the cannon from its trunk!”

During the night the people of Paks created the first wooden cannon in history, ready for deployment. They towed it up a nearby hill, and the entire village gathered around to observe the victory.

The gunmaster loaded the cannon with gunpowder, put a large rock projectile in the barrel, pointed the weapon toward the enemy village, and fired it . . . KABOOM!

Twenty people near the cannon died, and many others were seriously wounded. The mayor, who was uninjured, immediately issued a victory proclamation for his people, declaring, “If we have so many dead, how many can be left of the enemy?”

Reference: Tamas Polgar, personal account. ANOTHER BATTLEGROUND DELUSION: Bulletproof?, page 89 ANOTHER HISTORIC RUIN: Tourist Trap, page 105 Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

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